Barriers to Listening

Regardless of the job you do, most of your productive time is spent communicating, and almost half of that time is spent listening. But even though listening is our most frequently used communication skill, it’s the most overlooked.

Speaking, reading and writing require conscious effort, but listening seems to happen by itself. Your ears are always open and if a message comes your way, you just need to tune in and pay attention, right? Well, no. It’s not that easy. Intelligent listening requires as much effort as any other communication skill, and a large part of that effort must be spent minimizing barriers.

Barriers to listening can lead to bad listening habits. But fortunately, you can prevent this by recognizing barriers when they come up. The three that you’ll face most often are Language, Perceptions and Emotions.

Language is an obvious barrier if you and I are speaking two different tongues. But even when we share the same language, different words can have different meanings at different times.

Take this phrase for example: “…as soon as you can.” Five simple English words, each very easy to understand, but open to a number of different meanings. If I were to ask you to complete an assignment “as soon as you can”, how much time would you have? Hard to tell, isn’t it?

Perceptions are another barrier. If you don’t agree with I have to say, or maybe you just don’t like me, how you listen to what I say will be impaired. You might just tune me out completely.

Perceptions work for listening like a bouncer at a night club door. The bouncer stands guard. Some people get in. The bouncer finds them agreeable. Some people don’t get in. Maybe he’s been told to turn certain people away. Maybe the night club is just full. If your perceptions are preventing you from listening to what’s important, maybe it’s time to retrain your bouncer.

Emotions are a third barrier to listening. Overcharged emotions make speaking more important than listening. When you get worked up, you interrupt, tune out, and deploy a dozen other defense mechanisms that prevent you from listening altogether.

Think of the last argument you had with a friend, a family member, or a loved one. How much do you remember about what they said? What was more important at the time, what they said or how you felt? When emotions escalate, it’s better to wait them out and pick up your discussion later.

Effective listening – just like reading, writing and speaking – requires effort to get around the barriers. Awareness of these three common barriers – language, perceptions and emotions – is your first step towards overcoming them.