When Probing, Be Silent and Listen

Back in the early 80s when the Japanese economy was coming fully on line, a lot of writers made a lot of money publishing books on how to negotiate successfully with Japanese business executives.

This is because the Japanese introduced a puzzling, but effective new style of negotiating to the industrialized world. They worked in teams, spoke very little, encouraged the other side to do most of the talking, and committed to nothing until final decisions had been made collectively away from the negotiating table. With this style, the Japanese confounded their counterparts, especially those in the West, who were familiar with more openness during negotiations.

If you are not familiar with this style, it can seem cold and distant, as if your counterparts are intentionally withholding information and concealing feelings. It almost seems kind of sneaky.

But it’s different in reality, when negotiations are taking place. You’ll be surprised how your silence and polite listening can actually relax your counterparts and, as a result, encourage them to talk with you freely. As they do, they provide you with the information you need to understand their negotiating position and their requirements for a successful outcome.

You’ve heard it before: Information is power. The more you know about them, the more powerful your position becomes. That's why silence and listening are two of your most powerful tools to probe for information during business negotiations.

Now of course, you can’t sit there silently smiling for the entire negotiation. Your counterparts will become uncomfortable with this eventually. At some point you need to share your requirements and expectations as well. However, if you know a lot about your counterpart’s position, you can be more judicious about which information you do share with them and when that information is disclosed.

To ensure that your negotiating objectives are met and, at the same time ensure that your counterparts meet theirs, you need to know what your counterparts have to offer to you and what they want to get from you in return. To discover this, follow the Japanese style . Allow your counterparts to do most of the talking.