The Thin Line Between Assertiveness and Aggressiveness

Most often, people respond positively to assertive behavior.  You can think of it as standing up for yourself and defending your rights and the rights of others, which most everyone will admire.

Generally, however, people respond negatively to aggressive behavior.  If someone behaves without regard for the rights of others, most everyone will condemn this.

But where do you draw the line?  When does assertive behavior become aggressive?  Is it just a matter of whether someone else’s rights are being infringed upon? 

Let’s look at business.  You may have heard of some salespeople described as ‘aggressive’, and yet, these people are very successful and admired.  What is it about their sales technique then that makes it aggressive?  One characteristic is persistence.  They keep on trying until they make a sale.  Another characteristic is forcefulness.  They are up front explaining how much their potential customers will benefit.  Another is persuasiveness.  They say just the right things in just the right way to make customers want what they have.  Persistence, forcefulness, persuasiveness.  Is this aggressive behavior?

Sometimes the difference between assertiveness and aggressiveness is relative.  Let’s consider another example.  A bright young woman works hard to move up in her organization.  Some colleagues, embittered by her success, think she has stepped on some toes to get where she is.  Others, impressed, admire what she’s done.  So is her behavior assertive or aggressive?  Is there an objective point of view?  Maybe not.  In business, what may be assertive for some will be aggressive for others.  

This is also true cross-culturally.  In Western countries, like America and Australia, people may engage in what most would consider to be assertive behavior.  Were they to behave the same way here in Malaysia, however, most would consider the behavior to be aggressive.  Compared to some Western countries it’s relatively easy to cross the line between assertiveness and aggressiveness here in Malaysia.

So how can you ensure that you don’t cross the line?  Well, remember: Where the line is drawn is relative, so it may not always be easy.  To help ensure that your assertive behavior is admired by others, however, respect and stand up for the rights of others as you would stand up for your own.

How Assertive Are You?

Picture this.  Two standby ticket counters are open at KLIA, but the lines are fairly long and everyone feels like they’ve been waiting a long time.  You’re next to being served in your line.  But, just as the person in front of you leaves the counter, a man wearing sunglasses and a black business suit carrying a black leather brief case cuts to the front of the line and, without acknowledging you, places his ticket on the counter.

Now, what are you going to do?  Are you going to say something to him, or are you going to let him go?

There’s a lot to consider here.  On one hand, you’ve been waiting in line a long time and so has everyone else.  This man is infringing upon everyone’s rights, and as the next person in line, the default advocate for everyone else is you.  So maybe you ought to go say something to him.

On the other hand, this guy looks dangerous.  He might be somebody.  What would he say back to you if you were to step up to him?  He’s probably got a legitimate reason for immediate service.  Maybe he’s somebody’s bodyguard.  In fact, he probably works for the airline.  Better to just let him go.

What’s coming into question here is your level of assertiveness. 

Assertiveness is an attitude or behavior that that allows you to stand up for your rights without infringing upon the rights of others.  Non-assertive people may be passive or, the other extreme, aggressive.  Passive people will simply allow the man in black to go.  Aggressive people… well, they are the men in black.

As an assertive person, you recognize that everyone has rights – not only legal rights, but rights to individuality, to personal preferences, feelings and opinions.  You are committed to preserving those rights for everyone.  Your assertive behaviors are intended to promote communication and problem solving and you can deploy a variety of different behaviors depending on the situation.

Assertiveness skills are essential for business success.  The higher you move in your organization, the more you become dependent upon them.  Assertiveness skills enable you to uphold unpopular management decisions, put forth and take credit for brilliant ideas, and work out agreeable terms with the toughest negotiators.  Corporate captains do not reach their positions with passive behavior.

When you speak to the man in black about taking his proper place in line, whose side is everyone else in line going to take, yours or his?  In your efforts to stand up for your rights and the rights of others, assertive behavior is a quality that everyone admires.

Upselling & Cross-Selling for Service Reps

Although upselling and cross-selling are two very simple sales techniques that can effectively increase your bottom line, many sales and service reps are hesitant to use them.

Many reps are comfortable with their service jobs and they just don’t want to sell.  They dislike being perceived as ‘pushy’.  Others fear rejection.  If the customer rejects their offer, they feel rejected personally.  And still others simply believe that the customers know best and that they have no business suggesting anything additional to them.

If this is the way your reps feel, I’ve got two scenarios here for you to introduce to them that may change their minds.  Number one.  You rep goes to a sporting goods store and purchases a pair of the latest running shoes for RM399.  At the end of the day, she meets a friend who’s just purchased an identical pair of shoes from the same shop for RM299.  Now, is your rep upset?  Probably.  So she goes back to the shop to complain only to find that if she had purchased two pairs of shoes, like her friend did, she would have paid only RM299 a pair.  So is she still upset?  Probably.  Why?  Because the salesperson should have told her about this and left it up to her to decide whether she wanted to increase the purchase.

It usually doesn’t take long after this for her to realize that if she’d been the salesperson, making the offer would have been providing a service.

Here’s another scenario.  Suppose your rep is invited by a friend to attend a weekend camping trip with a group of people in Johor.  The friend tells your rep what he has to bring along, but he neglects to tell him to bring a swimsuit.  As it turns out, the camping area has a large swimming pool and a nearby waterfall where everybody spends most of their time during the weekend.  Now, is your rep upset?  Probably.  Why?  Because his friend should have told him to bring a swimsuit.  It was wrong for the friend to assume that he should know what to bring.  By not telling him, he did him a disservice.

Again, it shouldn’t take long for your rep to realize that he is the one who knows your products, he’s the one who knows what goes with what, and he’s the one who knows how the customers can save money.  By not sharing this information with customers, he’s doing them an equal disservice.

If your sales and service reps aren’t upselling and cross-selling, find out why and get to work on changing those results.  Upselling and cross-selling not only increase business on your calls, but also keep your customers happy.

Upselling is Upservicing!

It’s lunch time, so you step into your favorite fast-food joint for a quick meal.  You place your order at the counter – double burger and a large Coke – and as the girl keys it into the register she asks you with a smile, “Do you want fries with that?”  Well… yeah.  Now that you mention it.  Who wouldn’t?

You know this scenario and we joke about it.  But pay attention to what the food chains like McDonald’s, Starbucks, and Subway are all doing.  Almost every time you place an order at one of these places, the service people behind the counter offer you something else.  Cheesecake with your coffee?  Why not?  And just because she asked, not only do you enjoy a satisfyingly rich dessert with your caramel macchiato, but she also increased the value of her sale by more than 100%. 

If she cross-sells to every customer, and even if only 5% say yes, what would that mean to her bottom line at the end of every day?  Here’s another thought.  If your sales and service reps were successful at up-selling and cross-selling at 5% of the time or more, what would that mean to your bottom line?

Upselling and cross-selling create superior value for your customers.  And although your reps may hesitate to upsell for fear of sounding ‘pushy’, research shows that most customers appreciate upselling and cross-selling when they feel they are offered additional benefits relevant to their needs.  In fact, since upselling and cross-selling service customer needs, we could think of it as upservicing.

When it’s done right, upselling is no more than a suggestion to an already receptive buyer to enhance the value of the purchase.  Did that cheesecake enhance your Strabucks caramel macchiato experience?  Well then, the girl’s offer to you was great service.

If the suggestion is in line with the customer’s needs, the customer will be receptive.  No guarantee that they’ll buy of course, but they will turn down the offer with a smile.  Of course, there’s still that 5% that will accept and smile even bigger.

Ensure that your reps are more interested in delivering quality service than they are in making an additional sale.  If the focus remains on enhancing customer experience, upselling and cross-selling will be much easier.

Upselling and cross-selling increase your customers’ satisfaction.  Just a small proactive effort on your part conclusively leads to customer loyalty and grows your revenue at the same time.