Projecting a Positive Outcome

Many performers and speakers are affected by varying degrees of stage fright. The best among them, however, have learned techniques to manage this phobia and still deliver stellar performances. You can learn them too, and make stage fright work for you rather than against you.

Overcoming stage fright will be easier if we divide it into two parts – the biological and the psychological. The psychological component is what you think you are afraid of and that’s what we’ll discuss today.

The first step you must take is to identify your fear. Think about it for a moment. What is it that you are afraid of? Why is the situation threatening and what triggers panic?

When I ask people these questions, common responses that I receive are, “I’m afraid I’m going to make a mistake, and that everyone will laugh at me.” Or, “I’m afraid I’m going to go blank and make everyone uncomfortable.” Or even, “I’m afraid my audiovisual equipment will fail, and I won’t remember what I’m supposed to present.”

What I want you to notice about these responses, and perhaps your own response, is this: They all express fears about things that have not yet happened, but since they might, they become projections of a negative outcome. And if you are projecting a negative outcome in your mind even before you begin your performance, a negative outcome is very likely what you’re going to get. That can be frightening.

Think about what happens to you on your job when you must give a business presentation, deliver a speech, or address the press. Just before you go on, what’s going through your mind? Are you worried about failure? Are you afraid of possible shortcomings? Are you concerned that you may not meet your audience’s expectations? If so, this is where your stage fright originates. And notice – it’s inside of your own head.

Projecting a positive outcome can turn this completely around. Before you get up to present, focus on your strengths rather than on your fears. Remember that your audience is on your side and that they want you to succeed. Remember how well you prepared the night before. Remember that you are a star and that you rock.

Practice this technique to overcome the psychological component of stage fright. Get yourself feeling good before you deliver. A positive mindset is the first step towards a positive outcome.

Responding to Stage Fright

Do you feel stage fright when you step up to speak to a group of people? That’s okay. You’re not alone. In fact, it would be unusual if you didn’t feel it.

The fear of public speaking is widespread. Many websites that list people’s top ten most common fears rank the fear of public speaking in the top three, frequently outranking the fear of death itself.

Many famous performers -- Michael Douglas, Barbara Streisand and Beyonce Knowles among them – have confessed to varying degrees of stage fright. And even those smooth presenters in your office – the ones who must have been ‘born presenters’ – believe it or not, even they experience a certain degree of stage fright.

And it’s good that they do. Many top performers, regardless of the business they’re in, think of stage fright as their friend. Stage fright keeps them alert. It prevents them from becoming overconfident and careless. It keeps them stimulated without being overwhelmed. How do they do it? The best performers and speakers have learned techniques to manage stage fright so that it works for them rather than against them.

The first step towards managing your stage fright is recognizing where it comes from. There is no single cause, however. Different speakers fear different things. Some are more frightened of small audiences, others by large audiences. Some speakers feel better in a competitive setting, others feel worse.
In every case, however, stage fright is a result of how you choose to respond to your situation. It’s like listening to a bad joke. After the disappointing punch line, you have a choice. You can laugh to make the joker feel good, you can groan to express your exasperation, or you could simply frown and sigh. Your response is your choice.

When you face an audience, you also have a choice. You can allow the sudden onset of anxiety to get the best of you or you can decide to get the best out of your anxiety. What is anxiety, really, other than nervous energy? If you decide to channel that energy towards a successful outcome, you could become unstoppable in your ability to perform. In other words, you are the one who decides whether stage fright enables your performance or causes your failure.

Depressing? Not at all. This is empowering. Your ability to pinpoint exactly what triggers your fear is the first step towards overcoming it. Once you recognize it, you can decide how you will respond to it.

In short, your success is your choice.

Five Tips for Better Listening

Although listening is the most frequently used and the most critical among your communication skills, it’s often ignored. Schools do little to develop listening skills in students and adults do little to improve them later on.

Yet, listening remains crucial to business success. Think of how often communication breakdowns in your office resulted from poor listening. Think of how much time might have been saved if someone had listened better. And imagine how much information you could extract from your negotiating counterparts if you would talk less and listen more. The benefits to intelligent listening on your business effectiveness are endless.


How can you improve listening effectiveness on your job? Let me offer you five tips:

One: Make Eye Contact. Your eyes tell the speaker where you are focused. Your eyes tell the speaker that what is being said is important to you. Your eyes, in other words, support and strengthen the speaker.

In addition, your eyes are your camera. As you listen to what the speaker says, you watch what the speaker does. Gestures, posture and facial expressions that you observe can be combined with what you hear to provide you with a deeper understanding of what the speaker means.

Two: Send feedback. As you listen, send quiet verbal signals. Small sounds, such as ‘hmm’, ‘yes’, and ‘right’ indicate that you are tuned in. Repeat back what the speaker has said to ensure comprehension. Ask questions to invite your speaker to go on. The quality of your feedback indicates your level of listening.

Three: Avoid interruptions. Allowing the speaker to complete spoken thoughts is not only polite, but also beneficial to you. You can only form an appropriate response when you thoroughly understand what’s been said, and you can only understand if you’ve listened right up to the full stop. If you must interrupt to clarify or add something, wait until the speaker pauses and then request permission.

Four: Remember Your Role. A good listener requires different skills than a good speaker does. Shift smoothly from one role to the next and be conscious of the skills you use to be more effective in either role.

Five: Talk Less. My Aunt Jessie always told me, “God gave you two ears and one mouth so that you could listen twice as much as you talk.” Good advice. We value good listeners. Think about this. Do you feel more special if someone tells you that you are a good speaker, or that you are a good listener?

Intelligent listening is a critical business communication skill you can develop through conscious effort and practice. Put these five tips to work right now, and enhance your business effectiveness.

Barriers to Listening

Regardless of the job you do, most of your productive time is spent communicating, and almost half of that time is spent listening. But even though listening is our most frequently used communication skill, it’s the most overlooked.

Speaking, reading and writing require conscious effort, but listening seems to happen by itself. Your ears are always open and if a message comes your way, you just need to tune in and pay attention, right? Well, no. It’s not that easy. Intelligent listening requires as much effort as any other communication skill, and a large part of that effort must be spent minimizing barriers.

Barriers to listening can lead to bad listening habits. But fortunately, you can prevent this by recognizing barriers when they come up. The three that you’ll face most often are Language, Perceptions and Emotions.

Language is an obvious barrier if you and I are speaking two different tongues. But even when we share the same language, different words can have different meanings at different times.

Take this phrase for example: “…as soon as you can.” Five simple English words, each very easy to understand, but open to a number of different meanings. If I were to ask you to complete an assignment “as soon as you can”, how much time would you have? Hard to tell, isn’t it?

Perceptions are another barrier. If you don’t agree with I have to say, or maybe you just don’t like me, how you listen to what I say will be impaired. You might just tune me out completely.

Perceptions work for listening like a bouncer at a night club door. The bouncer stands guard. Some people get in. The bouncer finds them agreeable. Some people don’t get in. Maybe he’s been told to turn certain people away. Maybe the night club is just full. If your perceptions are preventing you from listening to what’s important, maybe it’s time to retrain your bouncer.

Emotions are a third barrier to listening. Overcharged emotions make speaking more important than listening. When you get worked up, you interrupt, tune out, and deploy a dozen other defense mechanisms that prevent you from listening altogether.

Think of the last argument you had with a friend, a family member, or a loved one. How much do you remember about what they said? What was more important at the time, what they said or how you felt? When emotions escalate, it’s better to wait them out and pick up your discussion later.

Effective listening – just like reading, writing and speaking – requires effort to get around the barriers. Awareness of these three common barriers – language, perceptions and emotions – is your first step towards overcoming them.